and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
