There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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