meet me or not, i'm out of control
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
