She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
