; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
