I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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