Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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