Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
