Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
wow bdsm is so cute
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize