are you still at the devil's house?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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