Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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