I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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