I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
