i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
