my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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