Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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