Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
