Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
