I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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