margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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