quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
