Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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