Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
