and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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