hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
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Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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