I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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