How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
