Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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