ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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