I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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