I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So vagazzling was a success
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
