You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize