You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
