if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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