She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
