Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
