The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
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You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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