so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize