Im at strip club and am horny
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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