You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
