Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
