Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
