i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
