So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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