matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
