Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
