We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
