You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
