the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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