Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize