You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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