WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
