all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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