Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
