the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
