That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
