She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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