That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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