Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
