I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
