theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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