Did you just see the Batmobile???
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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