This girl is more easily done than said...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
