he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
