I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
