Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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